Monday, 24 November 2014

Videodrome at 31

In 1981, I was 12 years old and already a film buff.  Having fallen in love with “Star Wars” in early 1978, I loved the cinema and behind-the-scenes material and one of my regular reads was a British magazine called Starburst.  Through its pages, I read news - and looked at pictures - of films that I wouldn’t end up watching for years to come (this was before the advent of home video), but which I stored away for future reference.  The reason I mention this is that 1981 is the point where each item that drew me to “Videodrome” (1983) began to mesh into one thread.  “An American Werewolf In London” was released and Starburst covered it faithfully (check out the gory cover!) and I was astounded by the Rick Baker make-up effects (I’d been a big fan of make-up for a while, having discovered a book in the library about Lon Chaney).  It became a film I had to see, though I don’t think I actually managed that feat until 1983.  Blondie released “The Best Of Blondie”, a greatest hits compilation that I had on cassette tape and played so often I wore it out.  And David Cronenberg, Canada’s “Baron Of Blood”, released “Scanners”, which also made the cover of Starburst featuring Michael Ironside in full, vein-popping glory.
left - Starburst no.40 and, on the right, Starburst no. 33.  Pretty cool for 1981, eh?
In 1983, reports began to surface of a new David Cronenberg film called “Videodrome”, which had make-up effects by Rick Baker and co-starred Debbie Harry.  My stars were in alignment and the more I read about the film, the more I wanted to see it.  Just like in the film itself, imagery settled into my brain and painted a picture that drove me ever closer to the source - Debbie Harry in the red dress, James Woods with ‘something’ on his hand, the stomach vagina, the TV set.
UK poster, massively playing up the part Debbie Harry plays in the film
I finally got to watch “Videodrome” in early 1985 when I convinced my friend Steve (he had the only video player of our gang) that it would be a good choice.  As I recall, he didn’t like the film at all (his comments were probably similar to those of the Barry Convex character - “Why would anybody watch a scum show like Videodrome?”) but I loved it, though I wouldn’t say I understood it all (that didn’t come until a couple of years later, when I picked up the novelisation written by Dennis Etchison under his Jack Martin pseudonym).

Fresh from the (rather unexpected) box office success of “Scanners” in 1981, David Cronenberg’s growing reputation gave him access to studios, actors and resources he hadn’t experienced before - “Videodrome” had a $6m budget, double that of his previous film.  As it turned out, Universal Pictures were perhaps expecting something more along the lines of the relatively straightforward sci-fi thrills of “Scanners” rather than the surreal, disturbing and harsh sensibilities of “Videodrome”.

Warning - there are spoilers ahead

James Woods as Max Renn
Max Renn (James Woods) is president of the sleazy cable Civic TV Channel 83.  Always on the look-out for new cheap and erotic content, his techie employee Harlan (Peter Dvorsky) shows him a clip he’s downloaded, a pirate-video broadcast full of torture, murder and mutilation called Videodrome.  After watching it, Renn becomes obsessed with getting it for his channel and asks his regular supplier Masha (Lynne Gorman), a pornographer of long-standing, to try and track it down but she refuses to get involved, saying that Videodrome is a set of real snuff movies.

Woods with Debbie Harry, as Nikki Brand
Renn appears on a talk show, defending his channel against fellow guests Nikki Brand (Debbie Harry), a sadomasochistic radio-psychiatrist, and Professor Brian O'Blivion (Jack Creley), a pop-culture philosopher who only ever appears as a video-link, here delivering a speech prophesying a future where television overcomes real life.  Beginning a relationship with Nikki, Renn shows her an episode of Videodrome that arouses her and she asks him to hurt her sexually.  When Harlan discovers the feed is actually coming from Pittsburgh, Nikki goes to audition.

Nikki: I was made for that show.
Renn: Nobody on earth was made for that show.

When Nikki doesn’t come back, Masha informs him Videodrome is the public face of a political ideology movement, with links to Professor Brian O’Blivion.  Renn visits his office at The Cathode Ray Mission - where homeless people are given food and shelter and encouraged to watch television - which is run by O'Blivion's daughter, Bianca (Sonja Smits), who is dedicated to helping bring about her father’s vision where television replaces every aspect of everyday life.

By videotape, O'Blivion tells Renn that “the Videdrome” is a socio-political battleground in a war being fought for control of the minds of the people of North America. After this, Renn begins to hallucinate which is a side-effect of watching Videodrome, as it’s the carrier of a signal that causes the viewer to develop a malignant brain tumour - the same tumour that killed O’Blivion (though he spent the last year of his life recording tens of thousands of videotapes).  As Renn watches these, scared and holding a gun, he scratches his stomach with the barrel and it disappears into a vaginal slit.

Professor Brian O’Blivion:   There is nothing real outside our perception of reality, is there?

the Teleranger
Barry Convex (Leslie Carlson) runs the Spectacular Optical Corporation, a glasses company that acts as a front for a weapons manufacturer. In league with Harlan, he’s been trying to get Renn to broadcast Videodrome as part of a government conspiracy to give fatal tumors to “lowlifes” who fixate on extreme sex and violence.  At Harlan’s lab, Convex pushes a pulsating videotape into Renn’s stomach, to program him to further the cause and Max pulls out his gun, which fuses with his hand.  He goes to kill Bianca O’Blivion but is instead shot himself by a TV set, de-programming him and she sends him to kill those who created Videodrome.

Bianca O’Blivion:  You are the video word made flesh. Death to Videodrome. Long live the new flesh.

At a Spectacular Optical trade show, Renn shoots Convex with his handgun then takes refuge on a derelict boat in an abandoned harbour.  Nikki appears to him on a TV set, saying that he has weakened Videodrome, but in order to completely defeat it, he must “leave the old flesh.”  The TV shows an image of Renn shooting himself in the head, causing the TV to explode in a spray of bloody human intestines.  Renn puts the gun to his head and pulls the trigger after saying his final words: “Long live the New Flesh”.

“Videodrome” began life as a rough draft screenplay called “Network Of Blood”, partly inspired by childhood memories of picking up unexpected broadcasts on television and also the content of CityTV, a Toronto cable television station which, in the 1970s, was notorious for showing soft-core pornography.  Cronenberg’s first draft, which producer Claude Heroux told him “would get the film a triple X for sure”, was strong enough to draw in the major talents of James Woods, Debbie Harry and Rick Baker, though production began work on the second draft.  As it was, Cronenberg was writing and re-writing up to the last day of principal photography.

Woods was chosen, according to Cronenberg, because he “really embodied that kind of intensity and articulate[ness]…that I had written”, adding he also had “a lovely comic flair”.  Woods, by all accounts, loved the script, saying “I thought it was pretty terrific”.

Of Debbie Harry, Cronenberg said “Blondie was huge at the time, not just as a band, but as a kind of essential part of the cultural zeitgeist of New York City. And she knew William Burroughs, and Allen Ginsberg and was connected with…a kind of above-ground/underground movement.  She was very responsive and very willing to learn and to understand that the kind of self-parody and satirical stuff that she did onstage simply did not work when she was trying to play a real character, a human being on screen.”

David Cronenberg and James Woods
Principal photography began on October 19th, 1981 with the first week of shooting devoted to video inserts - the O’Blivion monologues, some of the Videodrome torture sequences plus “Samurai Dreams” and “Apollo & Dionysus”, the two porn films that are pitched to Max.  “Samurai Dreams” was shot in a rented TV studio on one-inch tape over half a day and director of photography Mark Irwin said “that’s where I came into the business - shooting porn - so I felt right at home.”

The Videodrome parts, shot on Carol Spier’s stark set, were - according to Director Of Photography Mark Irwin - “more funny than sick.  If you listen [to the original tapes], you can hear David shouting, ‘Okay, now put her up against the wall! Okay, now shake around—you’re being electrocuted! Okay, now hang him up on that hook there! Let’s see some more energy in that whipping!’”  Cronenberg agreed, saying; “Most of the people we worked with enjoyed the experience, because it was cathartic. Of course, they weren't really being hurt and…we found - in one case - there was a woman who kept coming back.  She would dress up and put on a lot of makeup and dress herself really well and just kind of hang around. She couldn't let go…and it was quite strange, but very much in keeping with the strangeness of the film as a whole.”

The production was based in a large building in Toronto.  A former nursery and piano school, the exterior served as the Cathode Ray Mission whilst the interior was used to build sets, with the downstairs serving as both the Videodrome arena and the interior of the derelict ship.  In the former auditorium, the Cathode Ray Mission cubicles were built and it was also the stage for the Spectacular Optical show where Barry Convex expires in a rash of tumours.  On the second floor, during November and December of 1981, was the workshop for Rick Baker’s EFX team (and seen in the film as the O’Blivion archive) but since the building wasn’t soundproofed, the crew couldn’t work when a scene was being shot (and no toilets could be flushed either).

In my opinion (and this is said as a huge fan of Rick Baker), the special effects work of EFX are astonishing and stand up well today, even if a couple of the shots do betray their latex foundation.

For the breathing television, Baker and Cronenberg chose the Teleranger model, since it was large enough to accommodate the workings for everything the script needed it to do.  Various models were built, which could flex and move and the screen was made from dental dam - “a stronger, stretchier kind of rubber,” Baker would say - which was painted with a highly reflective white paint.  This allowed Woods to press his head right into it when Debbie Harry’s lips fill the screen and although the scene overflows with sensuality, the actor said “I felt sort of stupid when I was doing it, to be honest with you.”  The Teleranger also featured in a scene which was never shot (but is used in the novelisation), where it rises out of a bath Max is running and shows him images of Masha being tortured.

For me, the two key special effects images are the handgun and the vaginal split.  For the latter, two different prosthetic chest and belly pieces were built and for the shot of Woods standing up (for me, one of the few occasions where the effect is held too long to work), the actor was on set for twenty hours as they set it up.  When Max is on the couch, watching TV, James Woods was sitting inside the sofa and it was built up around him - he apparently swore after this he’d never work with anything glued to him again.

The handgun itself was a foam latex appliance (which Woods dubbed ‘the pooperoo’) that was worn as a glove by the actor from a mould of his hand whilst the shot of the metallic tendrils burrowing into his flesh was completed using a puppet.  The gun is described in the script as firing cancer growths at its victims (there were originally six, but Cronenberg cut it back to just Convex) and the effect went through several tests before the final concept was decided upon.  Once Cronenberg and Baker decided that the effect should show an internal cancer growing until it burst out of the victim’s body, Baker explained that it was something they could do “fairly simply - put people under a raised set who’d push the cancers up through a hollow dummy.”  This is why Leslie Carlson, as Convex, is laying down when the effect happens.  In the end, Steve Johnson (who also worked on Ghostbusters) created the effect and it’s one of the most memorable death scenes in cinema.

Another planned effect was where characters would, in Cronenberg’s scripted term, “twitch video”.  Special video effects supervisor Michael Lennick described these as a character being “broken down from celluloid film’s 4,000-line resolution to 525-line video resolution. Their body edges would become serrated, their colouring electric and almost neonlike.”  Although tests were carried out, Cronenberg eventually dropped them (after they survived every draft of the script), as he felt they “looked too tricky.”
Special Effects genius Rick Baker sets up a shot with the Teleranger TV set
The film uses Betamax tapes - which are occasionally seen to ‘breathe’ and swell - since they were large enough to accommodate the effects work whilst not being too big to fit into the abdominal slit, as VHS cassettes were.

David Cronenberg
Filming ended in December 1981, though special effects photography and inserts were shot in March 1982.  In post-production, the climax was reworked several times and after a test screening in April 1982, Debbie Harry was brought back for re-shoots since her character originally disappeared.  By showing her again, it appears that Max Renn’s suicide comes from his sense of outrage and being alone, rather than seeming defeatist.  Cronenberg said to Tim Lucas, “It felt so right that it felt inevitable, not so inevitable that I’d thought of it before!”  He originally intended to continue beyond the suicide, with the ‘next phase’ showing Renn hugging and kissing Nikki in the Videodrome arena, which would have been - according to the director - “my version of a happy ending.”

“Videodrome” does not have a happy ending, but it has the perfect one for the film and I love that it ends with the bang.  Although it’s now dated by the technology it shows, it’s actually ahead of its time in the portrayal of media ideas and concepts and stands strong because of that.

“Videodrome” was released on February 4th, 1983 in the US (November 25th in the UK), debuting at number 8 on the box office charts and to generally positive reviews.  Although a commercial failure - it’s made $2.2m to date on a $5.9m budget -  it is a cult favourite, described by Andy Warhol as “A Clockwork Orange of the 80s” and listed 89th “Most Essential Film In History” by the Toronto International Film Festival.  In addition, it’s soundtrack - composed by Howard Shore - was ranked 10th in the Top Sample Sources list of 2004.

Despite its poor commercial perfomance, the film tied with “Bloodbath at the House of Death” for Best Science Fiction film at the 1984 Brussels International Festival of Fantasy Film, where Mark Irwin received a CSC Award for Best Cinematography in a Theatrical Feature.  The film was also nominated for eight Genie Awards with David Cronenberg and Bob Clark (for his “A Christmas Story”) tying for Best Achievement in Direction.

The trailer for the film is glorious and it comes complete with computer graphics created on a Commodore 64.

I loved the film in 1985 and I love it as much today, a gruesome, surreal and intelligent shocker that is almost a black comedy in the way it plays out perfectly.  Any time is a good time to watch “Videodrome” but, on the occasion of its 31st birthday, why not give it another view?

Long live the New Flesh!

Friday, 21 November 2014

INXS Friday - for Michael Hutchence

Tomorrow, November 22nd 2014, marks the 17th anniversary of the death of Michael Hutchence, lead singer of my favourite band INXS.  As I mentioned in a previous post (see here), I can still remember clearly hearing the news on the radio that morning and not quite believing it - he was dead, how could that be?

I was lucky enough to get to a few of their concerts (I'm in the crowd at Wembley Summer XS and Alison & I saw them at The DeMonfort in 1993 (which I blogged about here) and at the NEC in 1997).  We've seen the band twice since (at the NEC again with Jon Stevens and on Clapham Common with J.D. Fortune) but neither worked for me - Hutchence was too integral to the band for it to work without him, I reckon and it's only their pre-1997 music that moves me.

1997.  17 years before that, it was 1980, I was eleven and hadn't heard of them.  Neither had too many other people outside of Australia, though the band formed in 1977 (as The Farriss Brothers).  As it was, INXS released their first single, "Simple Simon"/"We Are the Vegetables", in Australia and France in May 1980, following it up with their debut album - INXS - released in Australia on 13 October 1980.  It was recorded at Trafalgar Studios in Annandale, Sydney and co-produced by the band and Duncan McGuire, with all the songs attributed to the entire band (at the insistence of manager Chris Murphy).  Deluxe Records gave them $10,000 to make the whole album, meaning that to keep within budget they had to record between midnight and dawn (often after playing live shows earlier in the evening).

The album featured "Just Keep Walking" (which was their first Australian Top 40 single) and eventually went gold (selling over 35,000 units) but it took a good few years to do so.


I like the album, with its New Wave-ska-pop style but Alison isn't so keen and she's not alone...

I'm not a great fan of the first album. It's naïve and kinda cute, almost. It's these young guys struggling for a sound. All I can hear is what was going to happen later and it's probably an interesting album because of that. "Just Keep Walking" was the first time we thought we'd written a song. And that became an anthem around town. It's funny, I remember kids in pubs saying it and hearing it on the radio the first time. We'd never heard that before.
- Michael Hutchence,
as quoted in "Burn : The life and times of Michael Hutchence and INXS" (Bantam Books)

17 years ago, Michael Hutchence passed away.  17 years before that, INXS were starting on the road that would lead - for a time - to world domination in music.  It still doesn't feel that far away.

And this has nothing to do with 1980 or 1997 but comes from "Later With...Jools Holland" in 1994, with Hutchence, Andrew Farriss (on piano) and Kirk Pengilly (sax) performing a beautifully stripped down version of "Never Tear Us Apart"

RIP, good sir.

Wednesday, 12 November 2014

"Drive" rolls on...

Since my last post (which you can see here), my novella "Drive" has continued to pick up some good notices from round and about.  As I'm really quite pleased with the story and the way people have responded to it, I thought I'd highlight a selection of the reviews...

Peter Tennant, writing in Black Static, wrote:
West makes the material his own, ringing numerous changes on a familiar template, while we root for the good guys and hate the bad guys.  It doesn’t come with any heavy meaning or much in the way of a subtext, but it is a crowd pleaser, a horror story set in the urban landscape and tapping into our fears of what could so easily go wrong in this setting, a finely tuned tale that delivers all the thrills it says on the tin. I loved it, and I also think it would make a splendid little film.
(pick up the magazine from any good newsagents for the full review)

Steve Harris, on Facebook
This novella perfectly captured that feeling of driving late at night through deserted neon lit streets that should be safe but you know aren’t, meeting fellow late night citizens you hope are harmless, but fear could be feral. A skulking Audi with booming bass could be next to you at the lights, and after reading Drive, you’ll certainly wish it wasn’t.
All this pulls together to drag you into the page, and make sure that you can’t leave until the author has finished with you. The tension ramps until you’re breathless.
Brilliantly evocative, finger on the pulse storytelling. If you enjoy a good page turner, I suggest you get your ass into gear, pop the clutch and rush out to snag your copy…

Wayne Simmons, at Goodreads.com:
It's brilliantly executed, too: West's writing draws you into the story, his prose clean, clear and uncluttered. His characters are also great - very believable, none of them suddenly developing kung-fu skills or Hulk-like rage, dealing with the threat at hand in a very realistic way.  In short, one of the best novellas I've read in quite a while. Do yourself a favour and hit that BUY NOW button.
(read the full review here)

Kit Power, at Goodreads.com:
Fans of non-supernatural horror or jet black thrillers will find a lot to like here. Recommended for a quick, super-tense, one-sitting read.
(read the full review here)

David Price, at Amazon
Mark West really cranks up the tension by making the hero a less-than-heroic figure who is, in effect, as helpless and terrified as 'anyone' would be in this situation. Weighing in a 86 pages and belting along in real time, it is a hard book to put down and you might just find yourself with sweaty palms when you do. The day of the novella has come and thrillers like Drive can only enhance its popularity. A great read.
(read the full review here)

If you're interested, there are still some of the limited edition paperback copies left (includes an exclusive afterword) and it's also available as an ebook.



“Drive takes you for a journey down the darkest alleyways of human savagery.  
A fast paced, high tension thriller that delivers on all fronts....”
- Jim Mcleod, The Ginger Nuts Of Horror

"Drive is a gripping, tense urban noir with prose as tight as a snare drum..."
- Paul D. Brazill, Guns Of Brixton.

“Mark West writes the kind of fiction that gets under the skin where it lies dormant until you turn out the lights ...”
- Dave Jeffery, author of the Necropolis Rising series

"A crowd pleaser, a horror story set in the urban landscape and tapping into our fears of what could so easily go wrong in this setting, a finely tuned tale that delivers all the thrills it says on the tin..."
- Peter Tennant, Black Static magazine

Friday, 7 November 2014

Fox Spirit Press Writers Evening (at Leicester Library)

James Bennett, Hardeep Sangha, me, K T Davies
Last night saw the inaugural Fox Spirit Writers evening at Leicester Central Library, organised by FS Head honcho Adele Wearing.  I was chuffed to be asked and appeared on the panel with James Bennett and K T Davies (both of whom I’m friends with, though it was the first time we’d been at the front together) and Hardeep Sangha, a surrealistic poet who I was meeting for the first time and whose debut book “The Velocity Of Constant” was being launched.  Thanks to traffic (nice work, Leicester City road planners), I got there late, so just time for quick handshakes all round (nice to see Ewan, K. T.’s partner, again along with Jay Eales & Selina Lock) and then we were in front of the audience (which wasn’t a bad size).  As a nice touch, we were in the kids section of the library so everytime I looked over at James, I could see the Very Hungry Caterpillar cavorting on top of a bookcase.
After an introduction by Adele, James did the first reading, which went well and K. T. followed him, standing up and delivering it so well that the next person (in this case me) had a tough act to follow.  I read the first few pages of “The Mill”, which seemed to go down well and Hardeep followed me.  Adele then opened the floor to questions and got the ball rolling with a few of her own, that were smart and open-ended enough that they provoked plenty of discussion (and allowed K. T. to compare writing fantasy with living in a house that smelled of cat pee!) and led to more from the audience.  I had a great time, listening to my fellow panellists and getting the chance to air my own thoughts.

James tucks in, whilst Adele models her Foxy hat...
The time whisked by and when the Q&A was over we mingled, tucking into the delicious fairy cakes Adele had provided.  I chatted with Jay & Selina about future projects, then discussed character and people watching with Ewan, James and members of the audience, before catching up with Hardeep (and I got him to sign his book for me too).

After promising to meet up for a meal - we writer-types do like getting together - with everyone when James was back in town, it seemed as though half the group went on to the Phoenix Theatre for an Angry Robot-associated event whilst Adele & I walked back to our cars (we were both parked in Newmarke Street) and caught up.
"Let's take a selfie," I said
To her credit, rather than say "What, wait until we get the glamour of the car park?", Adele just said, "Shall I put my hat on?"
All in all it was a great evening, which I was really pleased to be a part of and I hope it’s the first of many!  Great fellow-panellists (and it’s always a treat to do a reading), great crowd, great organisation - what more can you ask for?

Thursday, 6 November 2014

The Bureau Of Lost Children

Yesterday, I discovered that my story "The Bureau Of Lost Children" had received an honorable mention from Ellen Datlow, a list she includes in her annual "Best Of Horror" anthology to point readers towards stories they might enjoy.  Honorable mentions might not have the cachet of an award - some knock them - but it had long been an ambition of mine to achieve one, which I finally did last year with "Fog On The Old Coast Road" and I'm equally chuffed to get my second.

"The Bureau Of Lost Children" is my story in the "ill at ease 2" collection (expect volume three late next year) and was inspired by an incident where we briefly lost sight of Dude but takes that level of parental fear to whole new levels.  I knew I was onto something when Alison read it, said she liked it but also told me she never wanted to read it again.

Thanks Ellen, my co-editors on "ill at ease 2" (my fellow contributor Robert Mammone picked up a mention for his tale in the collection and Steve Bacon got two, the jammy git) and the NSFWG, who critiqued the story for me.

For those interested, here are details of the anthology, which is really rather good...

Following on from the critical success of “ill at ease” comes volume 2, featuring seven original horror short stories, all of them guaranteed to give you the chills.

Joining the original trio of Stephen Bacon, Mark West and Neil Williams this time are Shaun Hamilton, Robert Mammone, Val Walmsley and Sheri White.

You will descend into an underground train station to uncover a dreadful secret and watch in horror as a paradise holiday turns sour.  You will see a bullied boy who’s helped by local history and share the anguish of a father, losing his child in a shopping centre.  You will take a trip with a cancer sufferer and share the pain of a couple, desperate for a child.  You will discover that history needs to be kept somewhere.

Seven stories, seven writers and you.

Prepare to feel “ill at ease” all over again.



cover designed and produced by Neil Williams
ebook built by Tim C. Taylor at Greyhart Press

Thursday, 30 October 2014

Phobophobias - Horror for Halloween

Thrilled to announce that the latest anthology edited by Dean M. Drinkel, "Phobophobias", is available this Halloween from Western Legends Press.  Even better, for me, is that it contains my story "Rhytiphobia".


“There is nothing to fear, but fear itself….”

Twenty-six original stories by established masters of horror and talented new voices comprise this anthology of terror, mystery and suspense. Phobophobias continues the explorations of our darkest fears that started with the 2011 indie hit Phobophobia.

Discover tales about Achluophobia (fear of the dark), Ecophobia (fear of one’s home), Keraunophobia (fear of thunder and lightning), Ombrophobia (fear of rain), Trichinophobia (fear of poisoning), Ygrophobia (fear of water) and Zelophobia (fear of jealousy) amongst many others.

Compiled and edited by Dean M. Drinkel, the authors of Phobophobias are:

Christopher Beck, Adrian Chamberlin, Lily Childs, Mike Chinn, Raven Dane, Nerine Dorman, Christine Dougherty, Tim Dry, Jan Edwards, John Gilbert, D.T. Griffith, Lisa Jenkins, Emile-Louis Tomas Jouvet, Rakie Keig, Amelia Mangan, Peter Mark May, Christine Morgan, John Palisano, Daniel I. Russell, Phil Sloman, Sam Stone, Andrew Taylor, Mark West, Barbie Wilde & D.M. Youngquist.

Cover illustration by James Powell
Cover design by D.T. Griffith



As I mentioned, I'm represented by my story "Rhytiphobia" (fear of wrinkles) which follows Cameron Davis and his extreme reaction to less than supple skin - born from a terrifyingly close encounter with a mad old neighbour who enjoyed licking boys faces.

Here's a preview...

The woman came out of the hedge at him.  Her face was a map of wrinkles, her eyes dull and pale, her mouth open wide and showing only gums.  Cameron yelled and tried to scramble backwards but the old crone grasped his wrist in one bony hand.
“Caught you,” she said and pulled.  Cameron was taken by surprise and, with momentum on her side, he was pulled into her garden.
He sprawled onto the brown, patchy lawn and rolled quickly onto his front so that he could get up on all fours.  The old woman faced him, leaning forwards, her legs spread wide apart.  Her green skirt was old and holed and he could see the outline of her thighs through them.  They looked like matches.
“Stealing my daffs again were you?"
Cameron glanced around.  Apart from the lawn, which was clearly on its last legs, there was no other plant life in the garden.  Some pots stood by the back door but whatever was in them had long since died.
He looked from her to the gap in the hedge.  His friends were through there, probably pissing themselves with laughter that he’d been caught.  It was the stuff of legend, that if you lost your ball in Mrs Taylor’s garden, you’d never get it back.  He’d thought he could challenge it but now wished he hadn’t bothered.  “I just came to get our ball back.”
“Ball?” shrieked the woman, “Cameron Davis, you’re a liar!”
“It’s true.”
It was the first week of the summer holiday and he and his friends had decided on a game of footy on the green.  But the ball had sailed into Mrs Taylor’s garden from his mis-kick and now here he was, sixteen years old and on all fours in her garden, staring up at his hideous woman who must have been ninety if she was a day.
“Liar,” she said, “you want me daffs.”


Thanks to Dean, I'm proud to be included in such great company.

The book is available from Amazon here.  If you decide to take a chance on it, I hope you enjoy it.